Funny how when a fly lands all we want to do is kill the motherfucker. I have my flyswatters laying about, ready for any type of fly warfare. I'm prepared for a fly apocalypse. The common misconseption about flies is that they shit everytime they land. Not true. They actually vomit more then they shit. Another neat fact about flies is that a zip loc baggie filled with water hanging above a doorway will keep the little bastards out of your house, (you do however need to change it every 6 months, I know this because I do it.)
There's been alot of flies buzzing around lately and I happen to be showering more then normal so I know it's not me smelling like shit. So I figure it's other people smelling of it. I don't like people that smell like shit, or buzz my tower for that matter. If anyones gonna buzz my tower it will be me thank you very much.
After a well needed morning nap, I came downstairs, and barely poured a cocktail to sit down, and a fucking fly lands in my drink. Kind of reminded me of being out at a bar and seeing people that buzz by you that you reeeallly don't want to see, but they are nice enough to stop, say hello, and vomit in your drink so to speak. (or take a shit.) before you even get a chance too. Don't need it. Get the fuck off of my cloud, stop buzzing my tower, or whatever.
Back to the fly, this thing lands on the rim of my glass, and I assume it has shit...So I do what anyone would do, started cooking some bacon and googled this nonsense, it said that if a fly has indeed shit, it will leave a little brown spec, but more then likely it vomited. I found that interesting, and I also found a brown spec on rim. So the motherfucker DID shit. I killed him. Not proud of it, but it DID shit on something I cared about...The bacons done. peace.
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